Travels

I love that I am now so accustomed to traveling via airplane that going through security has become a breeze for me! I never thought I would be a college kid who had to hop on a plane to go home, but now that I am, it's pretty cool. I've noticed that I have developed rituals while flying, I say a prayer right before we take off, and right before we land, and I always have a card or note that my boyfriend wrote me on me at all times! (And before I had those, letters from Zi) It's strange how such a tiny thing can make me feel much more at ease while flying.

Today I was thinking about how this does low key suck though. Sometimes I feel like I am never whole, that I am always missing something. Especially post-holiday season with my parents and sister being back in California,  it was nice to be so comfortable with everyone and everything that I love all in one place! So it's hard to fly back and forth sometimes. It gets old really fast living out of a suitcase, but being a responsible adult gets old really fast too! When I am in Colorado, I am missing my adult life, my cousins, aunts, uncles, and of course my totally awesome boyfriend! But when I am in California I am missing those who know me best, my mom, dad, and sister. So, you can see where this feeling incomplete conflict might come from!

BUT...then I had a revelation.

I am very lucky!

I think airports are the ugliest, and most beautiful places. While seeing garbage on the side of the road or gang graffiti on beautiful buildings can be ugly, nothing is worse than witnessing people who love each other have to say goodbye. I usually don't cry when I leave, but I am always assured I will be returning to where I am leaving at some point. It's easy to forget that some people only see their families once a year...and so those goodbyes must be very hard. And while a sunset can be a lovely thing, nothing makes me smile like when you see two people so in love that when their eyes finally meet, they can't help but run towards each other, since every second since they've been apart has been so dreadful. Or when someone from the military arrives to people who love them, and they can finally feel at home.

For a long time, I have spent my airport trips often dwelling on how it feels to say goodbye. But that can stop now. I think now I can think of it as something really wonderful is waiting for me on the other side. While I am often separating from people I love, I am fortunate enough to almost always be going to more people that love me! Something good is always waiting on the other side...not just a taxi or a car, but there is always SOMEONE waiting for me to come back. Not everyone is so blessed!