Happy Tuesday! It's been a crazy one, but wonderful in it's own weird way.
Anyways, I am already feeling a lot better about the balance in my life. Yesterday I just decided to cut out all the things that make my life stressful. I put all my worries on the worry train and bid them a light-hearted farewell as I watched it leave the station.
I do have a cold though, and there were moments when a cozy bed shared with my loved ones sounds a lot nicer than trying to teach social skills! But with my new spirit I was totally able to stay focused and love my day...which has been refreshing and insightful! I've missed being so full of light and grace...
But the biggest "YAY!" moment of my Tuesday was when I was working out and I had a moment like this...
It was literally one of the most amazing feelings in the world!
So motivating and a wonderful way to start anew.
Until next time
xoxo
M.
Lately I have been feeling....well, a little overwhelmed to say the least.
Transitioning from a college student, to a part-time worker, to a full time worker, to a full time worker with 2 side jobs within the past year has been crazy! Needless to say, I haven't been finding a lot of time to nurture myself, nurture my relationships, nurture my spirituality, or write. Lots o' no-no's.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my jobs! All of them. Working with little kiddos has been such a blessing in disguise...it turns out I am very nurturing and loving! Working with ED kids has taught me so much about myself and about life in ways I can't imagine could be possible through any other venue and I am so deeply grateful for every child. Tutoring has been a blast! It's been a great challenge and the kids I work with are sweethearts and pleasant reminders that not every kid will throw a chair at you when they are upset (not that I have any issues with chairs being thrown at me, dodge ball skills have indeed come in handy!). I love all the kids I work with, day and night, and they all bring something to my soul that just...makes it happy!
But...it is tiring, stressful, and frustrating at times. Lately, I haven't been feeling like I have time for myself, for my family, or for my friends. I'm so consumed with work and bettering my skill set that I've let some other relationships in my life fall by the way side. Sometimes I think, "Well, you gotta do what you gotta do to pay the bills." Other days I think, "I promised myself I would never become this person. Someone who is so engrossed in making money and working that I have no time for those I love."...ok, so that last one is a little bit exaggerated, but the emotion is the same. I feel like I have no time for those who love me most, family and friends, and it doesn't sit well with my soul. I feel guilty for letting my daily life become what it is. Even worse, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough. Like I am going nowhere.
I'm a happy person. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my fridge, and a bonus point...I have a job I love! Every day I am so thankful for these things. But right now, I'm not living in the moment nor am I loving at my best.
Anyways...you get the picture. I'm overwhelmed with being an adult, and I'm having a tough time finding a balance. But I have decided that this cycle of negative thinking and guilt shall stop!
I've been depressed before, and I went to therapy for many moons to help me cope. I help kids every day try to cope with their emotions, so I'm trying to remember my own coping skills. Unfortunately, taking plane rides to Colorado almost every other week so I could lay in my mother's arms and cry is not an option current day. So I've been doing some research...
Diet and exercise! I've already been consistently working out for a while now, with some flip flops here and there (it's a hard bandwagon to hop on for me!) but when I do exercise I notice such a change in how I interact with others and how I interact with myself. I'm much softer, kinder, and overall happier! It's like the old Marissa just comes out, so I see this being a good thing. And I don't want it to be temporary. I'm not training for anything...it's a lifestyle change. Which brings me to my next point in that, my new eating habits will not be called a diet. A diet sounds like something that won't have to last forever. It's just the way I eat. Luckily for me, I am already inclined in my natural diet to eat fruits and veggies and fish and quinoa.
Since my last mega meltdown in life halfway through college, I have strongly believed that taking care of the self will almost always resolve your other issues. Once MY body, MY spirit, and MY life get back in sync with one another, everything else will fall into place. Balance will happen naturally.
So, I am going to start seriously taking care of my body and seriously start taking care of my spirit!
Until next time...
xoxo
M.
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