As unimportant or yucky I deem talking about Nick sometimes, I shared wonderful memories with him, and this was a picture that I came across and thought deserved words. I took this during a mini trip we took to San Francisco for the week...yes, week. lol. We were awful, and brought out this really horrible "ignore all other responsibilities" trait in each other. I mean, we brought out some really amazing things in each other too! Nick taught me so much about him, myself, and life! It wasn't until he touched my soul that I learned that I love nature, that I love good food (and that I love to share that good food with others), and that the most blissful things come to us when we least expect it! Reckless abandon in love is what I felt! When all is said and done though, I think the kind of love I had for him wasn't healthy and drove me insane and brought out other not-so-amazing traits. But it was a lot of fun, and we hold some beautiful memories. Anyways...one day he took me to lunch in the city on a very beautiful day! In typical Marissa fashion, I didn't finish my food. And in typical Nick fashion, he finished it for me! Right before we got up to leave, we looked at my bowl and with what was left, we made this together! I took a picture of it and it hung in my kitchen for...probably much longer than it should have! But how lovely that memory is for me, and when I think of him, I try not to think about the horrible feelings I have experienced with him. Instead, I think of this, and send him good thoughts and hope that he is better than when we were together...I know I am!
On the flip side of things, this picture brings me to a sad place, but a very sacred one too. It was taken the summer He left me, and I was extremely depressed. Looking back on it sometimes, I think of how silly it is to have let some guy drive me to this point. But, overall I don't regret it one bit. I think we need to put our whole, raw, vulnerable selves out for someone...and then have them reject it and say "no" before we can appreciate the right love when it comes along. I don't think everyone necessarily has to go through that awful, painful process, but I think it was necessary for me! This was at Silver Lakes during our family vacation to Mount Rushmore...and my family was so wonderful to me during this time. They were kind, and gentle, and loving, but reminded me that the world doesn't stop revolving just because I am heart broken. They were the perfect balance of "Oh, don't worry Marissa" and "Get a Move on!" I am so blessed. So, even though when I see this picture I remember how my heart felt, I also remember who was with me and how they treated me. My Mother, Father, and Sister have seen me at my worst...and I am so thankful...and that feeling of being taken care, the feeling of having someone in my corner, is what makes this picture sacred.
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