That Thing "The Office" Does To Me

So, recently I have begun to re-watch The Office, also known as my ultimate go to feel good t.v. show. I can't help but feel like my life is ridiculously awesome (even if it isn't) after watching it. It's really my kind of humor, it's very nostalgic for me, and did I mention that it is my ultimate go to feel good t.v. show? Well, it is, and that should be reason enough to why there is a whole blog dedicated to it's epicness as a whole, and the epicness it has had in my life.

Question: How is it nostalgic?

Great question, and it is paired with a complex yet totally amazing (for me) answer. Not only do I love The Office because it has kept me from becoming depressed in the past, but because Jim and Pam remind me so much of a happier time for me and a former lover. We had pretty much the same story line, sans me being engaged to some loser...I was just dating a not-as-much- of-a-loser-as-Roy type of guy. As a matter of fact, that guy was awesome, but not for me. Anyways, back to why Jim and Pam bring warmth and butterflies to my insides...

That whole totally cute flirting thing, that whole "everyone else knows besides you two", that whole "shes with another guy who doesn't treat her well", that whole "THESE TWO SHOULD TOTALLY BE TOGETHER FOREVER" deal...yeah, totally me and former lover. As a matter of fact, we use to giggle and have inside jokes ABOUT The Office because it was totally our favorite show...foreshadowing in like, real time. And it was our favorite show, super cute (and in retrospect...FALSE: we both watched it with a number of other people and had inside jokes about the show with a number of other people...but it was us and in my defense, it seemed pretty monumental at the time).

When I first started re-watching it and I saw the scenes between the pure, sickening, oh-so-gosh-darn-right love between Jim and Pam I got this little knot in my stomach. I wasn't too sure what it was at the time, was I stressed? Was I anxious? Did I have a bad case of the runs coming on? Was it a mistake to drink the one day expired milk? So many possibilities, I decided to keep watching my ultimate go to feel good t.v. show for further investigation...

That's when I realized, all those cute lovey dovey scenes between comedy's favorite couple reminded me so much of me and said past lover! AND we used to watch it together! I mean, come on, it was totally our show (...maybe...). But why was it having this weird explosion of emotion on my soul now? I have been with someone new (happily and very much so in love) for over a year and a half, AND I definitely do NOT prefer my ex-person.

After some thinking in the shower (actually, I haven't showered today...it's been one of those days...so let's change that to thinking...just plain thinking) turns out that me not preferring my past lover is the exact reason why I love watching Jim and Pam. It makes me remember the relationship when it was good, healthy, and founded in love. That isn't usually how I think of my past lover these days, quite frankly, it's very hard to. But when I see the way Pam looks at Jim and the way Jim looks at Pam, I remember what it was like to look at someone like that...

Don't get me wrong, my current love story is freakishly epic, and sweet,  and oh-so-gosh-darn-right in it's own way, but it is different. We didn't have a flirting stage, we didn't have to go through "everyone else knows but you two" stage, and we DEFINITELY didn't have to deal with me having a fiancee or boyfriend stage! We aren't Jim and Pam, and that's ok...because that isn't what I enjoy about Jim and Pam. I don't envy their beginning. I like what they remind me of...

When things ended with my ex-person, I went to a really ugly place, and I came out on the other end with as much love and affection as I could muster up for the person who led me down that path. A much needed lesson in life no doubt, but that doesn't mean it was easy, and it definitely didn't make me all forgiving! Only the truly divine can do that!  (or just people more divine than me...) But watching Jim and Pam and remembering the time in my life where was so blissfully flirting my days away with my best friend, it makes me feel like I can forgive a little more, let go a little more, and heal another layer just a little bit. Probably a hurt I didn't even know I had...

So the moral of the story is, Jim and Pam are ridiculously adorable, they represent a beautiful time in my life, and are probably the greatest love story ever told, so what's not to love about them? (Move aside, Romeo and Juliet!) They also happen to be apart of my ultimate go to feel good t.v. show...so my opinion of them is 100% biased. Especially since Jim Halpert is the perfect man...that doesn't help you trust my opinion, does it?

Until next time...
xoxox
M.

Note: Currently making a mental note to someday write about how awesome my current love story is, it's only fair, and I think I might actually want to,(Move over, Jim and Pam)!

I bought the boat tickets the day I saw that YouTube video. I knew we'd need a backup plan. The boat was actually plan C. The church was plan B. And plan A was marring her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her. - Jim Halpert

if you do click on the link, forward to 50 seconds.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (Part 3)

It's been a while since I've had the chance to write about a wonderful memory I captured in a photo...and today was "just one of those days"...so I think it would be good for my soul to remember happier times.

So I spent some time in Berkeley in my younger days...

And it is an experience I can never replace, and one that will hold a very special place in my heart forever. I think I love it so much because it was the first time I had found myself belonging...anywhere. Like, truly just being who I was and being around people who were ok with that! 

I love the environment it provided me with. My peers were talking about big things, ideas, and passions...not about other people, which at the time was refreshing to me. Merced is still working on creating that environment! And I have faith that it will! 

I love the people I met there, they all touched my life in a way that can never be forgotten or undone. When you come across people who make you laugh and smile and enjoy life, you don't let them pass into the past! I think of them all often and with much love! They are all going to give back to the world in the most beautiful ways...I know this because I can speak from personal experience that they already have! I feel lucky to have crossed paths with them, some of whom I still remain friends with to this day, and whenever I see this picture it puts a big smile on my face!

p.s. I love Simmeran, and I love his OBVIOUS affection for me. :-p He has also been an excellent source when I need a vanity fill.

I met Connor (pictured above) in Chem 1, when we were lab partners. Paired with the lovely Ruby and....Aaron (haha) we were definitely the sane, calm, collected couple of the table. And much to my surprise, I had the pleasure of taking my Intro to Psych course with all three of them again! It was a sign, we were all meant to be together for a little while longer!

Anyways, long story short, leaving Psych early wasn't really an issue most nights. Lecture was pretty long and about halfway through the prof usually gave us an little break and half the class would leave. Well...this is the story of the moment I fell in love with Connor...(in the most platonic way possible!)

One night, lecture revolved around pregnancy and the bond between mother and child after birth. During this time, this was something that hit very close to home for me and for those of you who know my story, you know why. I remained fairly composed for most of the lecture when it talked about pregnancy, because lets face it...it's really over glamorized (as this blog CLEARLY lays out...). But what we would be covering after the break was what really concerned me. This, of course, was the night Ruby and Aaron decided to leave early. Trying my best not to go into panic, I asked Connor to stay with me...which I am sure to any guy sounds like a painful form of torture. Seriously? Spending the next hour listening to some dude talk about the bond between mother and child? I wouldn't want to stay...but I did because I was interested and, well, a goody two-shoes. Naturally, Connor REALLY wanted to go. In a last ditch effort, I told him I needed a friend, not even fully WHY I needed a friend...and without question, or doubt, he sat right back down and stayed. 

Now, I know a lot of good men in my life, but Connor definitely gives them all a run for their money. I remember the moment when I looked at him, broken inside, and whether he stayed out of guilt, friendship, or to be nice...it left its mark on my heart. It's true that a moment of kindness will last a lifetime. I feel blessed to have Connor be a dear friend of mine now (one who sends me swedish fish, but that isn't the only reason I have deep affection for him...I think...) and can only imagine what other goodness he will spread back into the world. If he was able to give me something so small, and have it speak volumes in my life...I can only imagine what he will do with the rest of his time on Earth.

Whew! I am feeling a lot better! I lot more at peace and a lot more humbled by remembering the lovely people I have been blessed to know! 

xoxo

M.

#2

#2. Go Cliff Diving

Now, I don't think what I did actually counts as Cliff diving, but the experience was bomb diggity none the less. Got to spend a great day with my family river rafting at Knights Ferry! Note, it was with the Alims, so the competition blood bath was out of control! But regardless, we were all ourselves and we all got to enjoy each other, which was the best part of the day. My cousin Jennifer, who now lives in Washington State, was even down for the weekend!

Now, how did I find myself cliff jumping? Well, long story short, Brandon is crazy and my cousin John apparently digs crazy! After Brandon suggest a jump from a cliff, my cousin John who is the definition of live life to the fullest decided it was a FABULOUS idea! And it was! After following Brandons lead, John, Gina, Jesse, Jennifer, and myself all jumped off a cliff into some FREEZING water. A moment we all get to remember together for the rest of our lives!

Another reason why Brandon is meant to be one of us, and another reason why I consider my cousins to be more like brothers and sisters...none of us have and I don't think ever will, lose the kid in us! And that is SO important in life. I am so blessed!

Until our next adventure!
xoxo
M.

Starting our Journey

Post Risking my LIFE

Holllllaaaa

Family

and of course, video provided by John Alim.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h39welldj8I

#1

#1. Graduate College

Well we can cross that sucker off my bucket list! HOLLA! For those of you who aren't aware, I recently graduating college. May 12, 2012 to be exact and oh my, I feel so good. I shall re-cap the pre and post cap (haha)

I had a wonderful party during the day since my graduation was at night (thank GOODNESS UC Merced!) thrown by my Auntie Marciel, Uncle Bert and my Grandma! I am so grateful for their hard work and effort. It felt so nice to have someone plan out a special day that was just for me!

I spent the day surrounded by SO MUCH LOVE! As a matter of fact, it was so much love I don't know which was more special, me graduating, or all my loved ones being in one place at one time. I was reminded of my roots and of my purpose and what seemed like a hectic day on the outside was a day of peace on the inside.

During my party, my dad gave a speech, thanking all my wonderful family members and friends who stepped up to the plate to help me through my college years when they had left to Colorado. I want to say it again, because it is true. My family, every single one of them, cousins, Aunts, and Uncles have helped me at one point or another. From a laugh, to a cry, to a vent session, to driving me to the airport, to letting me stay at their homes for a weekend to get away, to helping me with groceries, to helping me purchase my cap and gown. When I think about how much has been given to me by those I love most, my heart is overwhelmed with love and thanks. I can only hope to one day repay them.

As for the actual ceremony, it was an amazing feeling to watch my peers cross the stage. Most of them I don't know, but some I do, and I know they faced their demons and personal struggles...to see them accomplish something they devoted so much to was a happy moment for me. My peers...my friends, deserved that moment of greatness.

Personally I was lucky enough to spend my ceremony next to one of the loveliest people I have come to know, Miss Aurora, and we had a great time! I met her in my last semester at UC Merced, and I did an interview with her for my Writing 101 course (definitely one of my toughest in college) on the first day of class and described her as a sweet and wonderful person, and that anyone would be lucky to know her. I definitely still stand by that. My writing experience...and life in general only got better after I met Aurora! I feel very happy that I got to share such a monumental moment in my life with someone who is going to do monumental things for the world!

After commencement, seeing my parents look of happiness (and probably relief) was definitely a highlight of my LIFE. Without their support, love, and financial assistance I would not be standing in awe of my accomplishment. My parents might not have degrees, or a fancy office at work, or a huge house filled with personal expensive assets, but it is true, I am standing on the shoulders of GIANTS. They are, along with the rest of my family, my foundation.

Of course, I can't talk about this wonderful day without talking about my beloved. Brandon has helped me through so much in college...even before we were dating!

One day, during finals week, and 4 AM, on the verge of a mental breakdown, I got a phone call from Brandon and our friend Toad. At the time, I would only hear from them every now and then since sometimes they were impossible to reach, so I answered in the middle of my breakdown! I loved (err...still love!) them both so much, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Turns out, they knew I was going through a rough time and called to give me a pep talk! They told me wonderful things about myself and fed my vanity like there was no tomorrow...and when I hung up I cowgirled up and got my studying done. But...I don't think I would have gotten that far without my friends...

And that night was such a pivotal moment in my college career. I made decisions that changed my life forever, and for the better. So yes, Brandon (and Toad!) play a huge part in my graduation for reasons not even my heart can clearly explain.

And as usual, a big, big, big thank you to my roommates, Vivian, Zi, & Lisa who helped me along the way. And the the girls, Shabby, Loryn, and X-Rated for starting the journey with me, and for staying with me in my heart, even when miles (and maybe personal differences) kept us apart. I love all of you and appreciate all that you have done for me, I am standing on your shoulders too!

Anyways, so here I am...done with college. Exciting, scary, liberating, and uncomfortable...but SO TOTALLY worth it!

xoxo
M.

My family and I (plus Brandon!) @ my grad party!

My Cousins and I

My Uncle Bert and Auntie Marciel who planned my party!

My boys, couldn't have done it without them! They definitely know how to make someone laugh!

My Grandma and Tony

Brandon and Hurley, two people who made the day! Wouldn't have been special without them.

Vivian, she's a great roommate if you are in the middle of serious heartache :)

Lisa, my soulmate, who MADE my Jr&Sr years

So happy I got to share such a special moment with a special person who made it possible!

Myself and Miss Aurora

My Roots

One of the most supportive and loving women in my life, Auntie Noodle!

A Day I Once Lived With People I Will Always Know...

A piece of writing by Bynie Poo Poo M-Sizzle Hap and Madsi Pad Jalim Euphrates Halpin.

We had just finished an amazing day at the Sea Otter Classic, beach frolicking and sad attempts at kite flying. There were plenty of food reserves for our day adventure, including pb&j loaf ends. But feeling festive and craving more of the refreshing atmosphere, we decided to grab a bite to eat for dinner just down the way. As we left, Brandon, the navigator forgot to be the navigator and we were in the turn lane instead of going straight. As I looked for an escape route, a new car came from behind to box us in. Distracted and frustrated I began to turn, unaware of the driver adjacent to me. He honked, but kept rolling forward. Mayhem had finally caught up to me. I should have listened to those commercials. Luckily for my quick thinking and puma-like reflexes, we recovered and continued.

Now parked and walking toward our delicious meal we came across a public restroom. Everyone saw a need for the bathroom, but none more than Tess. Tess had expressed in the car ride that washing her hands would be fantastic, glorious, and liberating. She had not washed her hands all day! Of course, the bathroom was out of soap. Sorry Tess.

But the public restroom held us longer than anticipated due to a little girl. As Madison was waiting for a stall to open, a youngster ran in. Out of breath, messy hair, and tan from the sun she had soaked up on the beach, the little girl had a look of panic on her face when she realized not only were both stalls occupied but there was even someone IN LINE! Tears began to fall as she asked Madison, “Can I please go?” as a woman came out of one stall. Madison nodded yes, and mutual respect was earned. Eventually Madison also goes to the bathroom and everyone was bladder happy.

As we approached the Fisherman’s Wharf we heard music. At first it sounds promising, but we should have known as soon as we brushed past the teenage hand drum and electric guitar-with no amp- combo jamming like they just finished scanning Best in Class. After shaking off the first strange sight, the Blues Band's finer points came to light. The drummer had rhythm like Steve Martin in the beginning of the Jerk. The guitarists were horrible and not present during the jam session. As we passed Brandon pointed stated that, “You know it's a good band when you can see the Drummer mouthing 1-2-3-4”. Wise words from an insightful man.

As we enter the Wharf we start getting haggled by the local street girls. In all reality though, they were pretty girls in front of two adjacent restaurants trying to convince the people of the wharf which was the better choice for their dining experience. Little did we know that we had entered the grudge match of the century. Both offered the same samples of clam chowder, displayed platters and comped appetizers. The one that won our fellowship over was the one that gave us two comped appetizers because they accepted the competitors comped appetizer coupon. Ridiculously awesome!

As we entered we were greeted by a guy who shared they're happy hour special. It was “happy always”. Happy hour drink specials always. Great stuff. As we sit we are handed huge drunk proof laminated menus. While settling in, we could hear the touch of class. It was as if the kitchen staff music had become the new standard. We order our food and receive our two free appetizers and by now we are having a wonderful time.

A Mexican child and her mother, who is holding their small dog tightly to her breasts, walk towards the restroom.

We are laughing talking, precaping-recaping-postcaping. It was truly a great group of people with such joy to be shared. I forgot to mention that the bathrooms were all out of soap as well. Sorry Tess.

The hilarity began with a single incident. We had just finished discussing how we all embodied the definition of powerful laughter and how there was no way to ebb the flow. Right then, I see, out of the corner of my eye, a portly fellow, whose shape was circle. He stumbled.... At first it seemed that he'd staved off shame and embarrassment, but then disaster. He tumbles. He Rolls and completes his rotation before coming to a rest. Becoming his spirit animal of the turtle, he rocked back and forth, fighting gravity with all his will. Finally he recovered and vanishes. The first casualty of this catastrophe was Tess. She turned her head, her body exhibiting the brand of silent laughter that shakes the entire frame. Madison and Lisa quickly follow Tess' gaze to the ocean scape; a refuge for our previously unheard of muffled laughter.

I turn my head, overcome with the guiltiest form of chuckling, just in time to hear Brandon say, “Why is he tucking and rollin' ?”. It was all over. We all looked to the window with an attempt to keep the laughing as subdued as possible as Brandon quipped, “That's a nice boat…” The attempted small talk wasn't fooling anyone.

The rest of the meal was spent with what can only be described as the giggles. We had finished our meal and began thinking about the check and a box for food. The man I had dubbed as Juan had come and Brandon asked him for a box. His response, after much hesitation, was “ehhhh” with a sideways point to the finger. Think of it as a mix of an Italian mob shoulder shrug meshed with a slightly off Fonz impression. He then said “I don't think we have that..... I'll bring you a cup.”

We erupt in laughter. Especially Rapples (aka Lisa), who by no fault but all her own has fried her skin to perfection and her brain beyond repair. OOOOOOOooooohhhhh..... RAPPLZ.

We finally decide to flee, but not before we brave the soap-less bathroom one more time.

First Brandon and I decide to use the restroom, then the ladies follow suite. Good thing too, you know how ladies can get with bathrooms. Tess, Madison, and Lisa all head toward the bathrooms, which required turning a corner. As the approach the turn another youngster enters the scenario, but this time a small boy. Knowing that I am always up to silly games, Madison assumed it was me and began to say, “Bryan, you are such a creep, why would you---.” She is cut off when she realized it wasn’t I waiting just around the bathroom bend.

After our last bathroom adventure, we regroup outside the restaurant and walk along the ocean leisurely back to the parked car…except for Brandon. He had to get the car, since our parking ticket had expired five minutes prior.

We are free.

Feeling A Little Something Special Today

Today, for some reason, I am over flowing with happiness. No reason in particular, just that I think most things have gone my way today...and even the things that didn't, I had someone totally awesome backin' me up. I was reminded that my life is EXTREMELY blessed and that I am privileged in ways people only dream of! Also reminded that my family, friends, and my beloved are so good to me! It is easy to forget, while living this life, that not everyone is so blessed!

So, I may not be the richest, smartest, or prettiest girl around; but I am the luckiest. Thank you thank you thank you for everyone and every thing that makes my life so beautiful and a special thank you to the big guy upstairs! :) Grateful beyond words and happy beyond words!

xo,
M.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/roger_ebert_remaking_my_voice.html

Dinner

April is National Poetry month! So, cheers!

Dinner
I had all the answers once
  A long, long time ago. Yesterday.
  But I got tired...and hungry
So hungry I could eat a whole set of questions
  So I ate some answers for breakfast
Then I got thirsty 
  So I drank some at lunch
By dinner I only had one answer left
  it was the truth, and it looked yummy.
So I ate it for dessert and washed it down
  with white lies and half full promises
And feasted on my oblivion.